12:11 AM

Yesterday morning, for the first time in four and a half years, I woke up in my own bed.

So. Weird.

To make things weirder, I woke up to my mother's voice.  My usual early-morning disorientation was totally thrown out of whack as I tried to remember if I was 16 or 20.  Was BYU a dream?  Am I actually waking up to get to class at Springville High?  Did Tahiti never happen?

[My parents have been home for nearly six months now.  Yet I have never once slept in my old room since their return.  Weird, you say?  Let's just say that their TV is in the family room.  And my mom keeps a great movie queue on their DVR.]

Even though it was only a matter of seconds before I realized I was, indeed, 20 years old and Springville High was a thing of the distant past, I still felt this burning in my heart.  I was reminded of my old life, a life that seems to have lost itself in The Twilight Zone.  Dinner made by mom every night, living across the street from my karate studio, playing on the school basketball team, having a piano.  Life comes at you fast.

Also, I'm super sad that I didn't have two more years in my old room.  It was the best teenage room ever [thankyouthankyou parents for letting me paint it blue.]


Right when I started packing, I realized I needed a pic of my pad.  Ben was helping me clean up, so thurr he is.

You guys knew I liked movies...

Oh how I miss this spacious closet...

I collected Ben & Jerry's lids.  It's cool.


My life is in boxes.  I go through them, smile fondly at the memories but... I've moved on.  I've moved out.  Somehow waking up in that old bed of mine made me wish I were back.  But I wasn't really wishing to live back at home, I was wishing that things were the same as they were in 2008.  My room will always hold those boxes of memories, but that's all they are now.  I wouldn't change where I am now for anything.  "It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live."

Though I would change the duration of Thanksgiving break...

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