futile projects

12:30 PM

The bookstore is different. We've hired a few new students to fill in the gaps. But somehow, the atmosphere has changed. I now spend two hours each Wednesday by myself. Different students are taking on different roles left behind from those let go.

During the slow days, it's up to us to find things to keep us occupied. So over the past week or so, I have been straightening the books on the shelves. It started as a way to pass the time. It has turned into an obsession. Straighten ALL THE BOOKS!!

There are a lot of books.

My coworkers come and help me sometimes. I don't always welcome the company. Well, I do. It's good conversation, but I'm consumed with this project. In this season of depression and indecision, I fight it ferociously with busy hands. It's therapeutic to move Dickens, C: TALE OF TWO CITIES after Dickens, C: A CHRISTMAS CAROL. No one knows their alphabet. (And you think I'm joking). I find joy in the simple pleasures - it's the greatest thing ever when a book can be maneuvered into 5 stacks that line up perfectly from back to front of the shelf.

And it WILL be done right. If they're gonna help me, they're going to do it my way. I doubt they've appreciated me checking on their work and, well, redoing some of it. This is my baby. It will not be held without my permission.

Some books are too numerous to fit all on one shelf. Some books are too numerous to fit on five shelves. Then the Text Desk declares OVERFLOW! and the remaining Bio 100 books are moved to a completely removed top or bottom shelf. There are no words to describe how much I hate overflow. So much disorder. So little aesthetic appeal.

I've been fixing that too. I'm beginning to think I'm more depressed than I thought because I'm going wayyyy above and beyond the call of duty.

I only wish I didn't have to be around when the horde of complaining, broke college students come to destroy everything I believe in. "DO YOU THINK THERE ARE MORE USED BOOKS BACK IN THIS CORNER??? LET'S MOVE EVERY ONE OF THE BOOKS ONTO FIVE DIFFERENT SHELVES TO CHECK ALL THE BOOKS." They come like a pack of ravenous wolves, clawing and biting and running - at the ready to pick a fight with anyone who takes their precious used copy of Chemistry: Principles. They leave my two-weeks effort in shambles.

One time I heard a student say, "Oh, no, just leave it. We don't have to put it back in its place because they have people whose job it is to fix it." Um, kid? That job is mine. And if we weren't too busy helping you find the books that you are too blind to see, then maybe it would be worthwhile to straighten and arrange the shelves all day long. Too bad your stupid questions keep the shelves un-alphabetized, un-straight, and overflown for two months before I have a chance to fix it again. WHEN NO ONE IS COMING.

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  1. Just wait. You will have a great time re-organizing and then re-organizing and then re-organizing your kids' toy room. This container is for cars, this one for Barbies, this one is for super-heros.

  2. Haha! Seriously though. How can I ever be a mother?


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