anatomy of a black belt

3:07 AM

Some of you might be wondering how that black belt progress is going. Well, let me tell you.

And by some of you, I mean my mom. And maybe the one other person who google searched "black belt" and came across this hot-girl picture.

Anyway, I cannot reiterate the idiocy of training for a black belt, studying for finals, and preparing for a mission at the same time. Holy EFF it has not been a fun week.

I'm actually surprised that it only took me 24 hours to get these fingers to write anything again. I wrote five papers this last weekend. FIVE. From Sunday through Tuesday, only 8 of those 72 hours was spent sleeping. (Easter was good, by the way). Yeah, I still have finals to take or whatever, but FIVE PAPERS. Can I get a round of applause? A woot woot? A cat call for how foxy I look in my up-do/sweat-pants/makeup-less face?

Trying to stay physically fit while stuffing your face with ritz crackers at 2 in the morning is not easy. Let me tell you.

Running has kept me sane. And insane. And dead. And alive. It's the only element of my karate workout that has actually stuck during this hell weekend. Week. Two weeks.

Why the big fuss to prepare? I'm glad you asked.

Come Saturday the 21st of April I will not only kick a bunch of wannabe first degrees CANS, I will be on display in front of a bunch of judges to show them what I got. All under physical exhaustion.

5:00 am: Wake up. Drive to Layton. Sleep in the car.
7:00 am: Begin 5 mile run
8:00 am: Do 100 push ups and sit ups. And look good doing it.
8:30 am: First degrees are tortured with showing off their basics. Strikes, blocks, and kicks. I get to hold bags this time. Win!
10:00 am: The show begins. All testers demonstrate their forms for the judges/audience. This is the time to shine. And in case you don't actually know what I'm talking about, a "form" is basically the tougher version of a choreographed routine. But it's really fun to watch.
11:00 am: Weapon forms. Same show-off stuff as above, but with your weapon. For my first degree, I did nunchucks. For second... I'm doing sais. Yeah, it's what Raphael uses. (About those things: they've been sitting in my living room for weeks. Best conversation piece EVER. "LOOK AT THE NEW TOY I GOT!")
11:30 am: Breaking. Yeah, man. I break 12 boards. Using 12 different techniques. But mostly looking awesome.
12:00 am: Sparring. We get to duke it out with each other. Survivors proceed to the final round.

I have never been so nervous and so excited for something before. I had an emotional BREAKDOWN last week. I have had no time to think about looking good sweaty while also writing five papers.

FIVE PAPERS, GUYS.

So one week from this Saturday I will officially be put to the test. After weeks of running, pushuping, writing, not sleeping, mission papering, punching holes in my wall, kicking, screaming, studying, reading, jumping, and weaponing... then I'll be done. And then I will die.


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